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April 26, 2005

still here. . .barely

April has been one crazy month. 3 weekends in a row of work. Neverending conference calls. Calls at all hours (probably should have never given them my cell phone number). And if its not work, I'm trying to get ready for the birth of my child. Oh yeah, that's right. That was the whole reason why I wanted to start blogging now. Well, hopefully, I'll have time to tell more of the story. Hopefully after Wednesday. We'll see.

Posted by spoof747 at 10:24 AM | Comments (0)

April 07, 2005

it's 4:30 again

4:36 AM, to be exact.
This time, not my fault.
If you can believe it, it was work.
Not work from home, procrastinated project that has a deadline tomorrow.
This was ordered to stay at work, work on something that can't realistically be done in the allotted timeframe, and shell out big bucks for a cab ride home at 4 in the morning.
I am in quite the ugly frame of mind.
Especially since I had to wake up my poor wife to let me in the house (long story in itself -- and no, I did *not* lose my keys)
If anyone expects me to be in bright and early with a sunny disposition tomorrow, I will give them explicit instructions on what to do with those expectations. I will even draw diagrams.

Posted by spoof747 at 04:35 AM | Comments (0)

April 05, 2005

I can't keep doing this anymore

Its 4:30AM.
I am not an insomniac.
But sometimes I end up staying up entirely too late.
Mainly, its due to FPS games. Specifically, Return to Castle Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory. Yes its a cool game, but it is also *free*. And there still is a sizeable community which plays this game.
This game has been "trouble" in the sense that I haven't been able to put it down for very long every since I loaded it.
I guess you could say I have an addictive personality. If I enjoy something, I continue to enjoy it until I finish it or get tired of it. That works with books -- I may try to read a book all in one sitting, but eventually, I can finish it. Older video games that I've played, you also eventually finish the game and can put it away. You eventually learn all the lines of your favorite movie and repeated viewings do get old.
The problem with this particular game, is that it is a network game. That means that each game I play is different every time. Some days I get my butt whooped, other days I rule the roost (much fewer than the whooped days, since I actually suck.)
The other bad thing is that this is an FPS. So I pretty much turn my brain off from a thinking perspective, and just play. The combination of the two sometimes has me looking at the clock and going, "Damn, how long have I been playing for". Also, the levels just recycle over and over. So I can just keep playing without end, theoretically.
Not a good thing.
Definitely not now, with everything else going on.
And the fact is, I'm not a spring chicken anymore. I can't just play until the wee hours and expect to be able to bounce back well for a full day of work.
Although ironically, I only picked up this habit in the past 2 years. I only started playing networked FPS games regularly (actually, just this one) in 03. Actually, I did play older ones, such as Duke Nukem 3D, a classic, and the mother of them all, Doom, but I would only play at work, and never at home, since I didn't have a fast enough connection until recently.
I really have to stop doing this.
And now its 15 to 5.
*sigh*
good morning.

Posted by spoof747 at 04:36 AM | Comments (0)

April 01, 2005

to be or not to be private?

one decision I have yet to make in how I approach this blogging thing is how private I want to be with this. Obviously, by the domain name itself, I can't go the way of the completely anonymous blog. Nor do I think that is feasible. When I like to write, I like it just to flow out, to work on my writing voice, to pour my thoughts onto this medium. If I try to be conscious of things like "do i use initials here instead of names?" and "will people find out too much about me?" then I feel it will throw off my writing groove to keep stopping and thinking about these things.
also, from a casual perusal of other blogs that I like to read, not to be sexist, but it appears that a lot more female bloggers feel the need to be more private than male bloggers. i'm pretty sure that percentage-wise, there are more male stalkers out there than female stalkers. Or at the very least, females are more conscious of "unwanted" attention from males.
Its amazing how empowering that Internet anonymity is, both in a good way and in a bad way. People who would never say certain things in person find that if they don't have to face someone, they can be an entirely different persona. Hence, you get a lot of people who talk a big game online, and are someone that they normally aren't. At the same time, its this faceless anonymity that encourages people to blog in the first place. If this was viewed as a speaking engagement in front of an audience, I doubt many people who blog would be as forthcoming about themselves and their lives. But because I don't know who is reading this (or if anyone is), it allows me to feel free to write more openly. So I guess it cuts both ways.

Posted by spoof747 at 11:27 AM | Comments (0)