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June 18, 2005
joys of parenthood
remember before when I said that naomi was such a good girl and that she was calm and slept a lot?
ha ha ha.
that's not completely fair, but one of the reasons why I'm up at 4AM is that in the past 2 days, she has been pretty stubborn about not wanting to sleep. Plus, she's got a knack for making you as tired as possibly. You rock her and pat her until her eyes start drooping into that sleeping position. Then, in order to rest your weary legs, you start to sit down on the couch or lie on the bed. As soon as you do so, her eyes start to flutter open and she begins to grimace, and soon she is fussing and squirming around. With the added bonus of waking up enough so that you have to start the whole process over again.
I guess I didn't realize it, but over the past 3 weeks, I developed a "bag of tricks" to get her to go to sleep. Rocking her. Adding a little swing to the rocking. Patting her in tune to the rocking. Having her lie on my chest so she can hear my heartbeat. Singing a mix of 80s ballads and musical showtunes to her. Getting her into a deep enough sleep that I could drop her off in the Graco Pack 'N Play and turn on the music and the vibrating mattress (man, babies have the life!) What I failed to realize, is that she is a rapidly developing and growing human being, and that the tricks wear out fast. That's also part of the frustration of the last 2 days, in that all the tricks that worked so well just a few days before in getting Naomi to sleep were all of a sudden not working.
Infants are great. They are cute and adorable, and really tiny so you can fit them in the crook of your arm. But they can't tell you when they are upset, they can't tell you why they are upset, they can only cry. And when they cry, its the saddest sound in the world. Naomi also throws in a quivering chin when she gets amped up, and it breaks our hearts to hear that cry. I ask her what is wrong, and she can't tell me. Sometimes, I want to just jump to the part where she can tell me what is wrong so I can fix it.
Honestly, I'm glad I'm home right now so that Jenn and I can take turns taking care of Naomi, especially in situations like this. I'm just not sure how I'm going to handle it once I go back to work. How the heck am I going to have the energy to come back from a hellish work day and take over from Jenn, who I know will be tired from taking care of her all day? Now I know why my parents took naps on weekends.
Going to have to keep this short and get some sleep. Naomi is finally asleep right now, but I'm not sure how long the good fortune is going to last. Sleep deprivation is pretty interesting in that your senses are absolutely shot. Jenn just scared the crap out of me coming to check on me, even though I was looking at the doorway when she walked in. Or maybe that's why it scared me because she popped right into my vision. I'm not sure. I'm too tired to try to be funny. I'm too tired to try to be glib.
I'm too tired.
And I have been told that it will take nearly 2 years before I get an uninterrupted night of sleep again.
Joy.
Posted by spoof747 at June 18, 2005 04:17 AM