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October 24, 2005

mortality

so after 1 week and change, my back is still hurting. And not in a "ooh I still have a twinge" way, its more like a "Whoops, I can't bend over to pick up that coin I just dropped" way. It HURTS. I actually called and made a doctor's appointment on Friday just to make sure that I didn't have one of the more serious disc-related back injuries. The doctor didn't really think so, because I still have strength in my legs and I don't have any shooting nerve pain. He just said to get rest in positions that are comfortable for me. His words were along the lines of "If it causes you pain, don't do it". Yeah, since I'm not masochistic, that should be fine for me.

the thing that really sucks about this is how helpless I feel. The doctor did say that I shouldn't be lifting anything more than 5 pounds. Hm, since Naomi is currently hovering around 16 pounds or so, I can't exactly NOT do that. Even with that, I'm grunting with pain when I try to put her down to change her diaper. I wasn't kidding when I said I can't bend over to pick up things. I literally have to get on my knees first, and then reach down to get stuff.

This is the first seriously debilitating injury that I've suffered in my life. Not that its a pride point with me, but I've never suffered any broken bones. the worst I've suffered are some big abrasions as a child from running and falling, and a lot of sprains from my sporting activities. Even with sports, I have to worry if I can go back to doing that, depending on how my back recovers. Its a vicious circle in that some of the recommended advice is to exercise so as to strengthen your back. Well, I'd do that, except my back isn't letting me right now. Anytime before now, when I've had a bout of soreness or stiffness, a good night's sleep (ok maybe two) and it will go away. This is running 8 days and counting, with what seems like incremental changes either towards improvement or sometimes towards worsening. I spent the whole weekend doing virtually nothing, popping Aleve, lying around, and my back doesn't feel any different today from Friday. I've even given in to wearing my dad's back brace (I still say man corset).

Is this what getting old feels like? I'm also frustrated because my work schedule had finally cleared a tad to the point where I was trying to do some house cleaning. Actually, that's part of what started this whole damned mess -- moving all the stuff around in the garage to clear space for the installation of the new garage door. Lift with your legs, not with your back -- yeah yeah yadda yadda. I never listened before because I've moved some pretty heavy stuff the "wrong" way and haven't gotten hurt before. There goes the feeling of youthful invincibility, not that I've really had it for sometime, but yeah, now I'm SURE its gone.

I just hope that this isn't a long-term injury, that my body will recover at some point. I want to be able to play with my daughter when she grows up to the point where she'll want to run around in the park. I want to be able to at least be active, not confined to shuffling around in fear of my back going out on me.

Posted by spoof747 at 09:15 PM | Comments (0)

October 22, 2005

doctor doolittle i am not

i love animals.

i have ever since i was a child. whether it was reading about them or playing with them or anything. i was forever begging my parents to take me to the zoo, or borrowing all the books in the library on animals, or begging my parents for a pet. hoo boy, did peg and i beg for a dog. we were never considered responsible enough to own one though. so we satisfied ourselves with reading about them and playing with our friends' dogs. in those days, jennifer and christina's family (long-time church friends) lived across the street and they had a dog named "Go-Go" (essentially, Mandarin for "dog"). He was a little mutt, but a really friendly one. our favorite thing would be to lie down on the sidewalk, and wait for him to notice. the minute he did, he'd bolt over and lick your face (must have had some Saint-Bernard blood in him). in his later years, when he put on some weight, it was somewhat comical to see him do the same thing, but you'd lie down, and a few moments later? Dog tongue on your cheek.

also, reading (and buying books) on animals was also a big hobby of mine. at one point, i thought i wanted to grow up to be a naturalist or a zoo keeper, basically someone who spent all their time around animals. I would borrow books on different species of mammals, reptiles, and amphibians from the library (i was too squeamish to read books on insects) As a matter of fact, last year, I bought a huge Dorling-Kindersley tome (I love this publisher, BTW) called "Animal".

i think it was somewhat fascinating to me because these creatures exist more or less alongside humans, and they obviously have some level of intelligence, and so i wanted just to observe and figure out what they were thinking (and how). Of course, there is definitely some romanticization of this dating back to my days watching Yogi Bear, Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse, and the whole lot of talking animal cartoons that took up my afternoons. The cuddly version of the Animal Kingdom was the one that I grew up with. For some reason, I always missed those episodes of Wild Kingdom that showed predators and their prey. You kiddies get exposed to this a lot more with cable television and networks like the Discovery Channel and Animal Planet. Back then, I dreamed that it would be cool to work with animals and that it would be fun because they were creatures that operated on a simpler level than humans, that you could train them and they would be your loyal friends. (Can you tell that sometimes I was a very lonely child?)

so there is some irony in two facts that are a part of my everyday life now:
- jenn does not want to have any pets and doesn't really like animals
- our house and its surroundings have been home to many animals, especially in the past 2 years.

as to the first point, its actually kind of funny. not that it was ever a litmus test with me, but i generally used to ask girls that i dated if they liked pets or if they ever would get one. i distinctly remember asking jenn this early on when we were dating. i also distinctly remember her saying that she liked dogs. she does not dispute this statement, even today, but her response is that she *does* like dogs, from a distance. she has no desire to own one, mainly due to the fact that you have to clean dog poop. as much as i like animals, i do have to give her that point. someday i do want to convince her to let me get a dog (and i hope naomi will aid me in this quest) but maybe we can get a really trainable one so that he/she can poop in a toilet. Hey, I saw it on TV, so I know its doable.

The second point is almost as funny, especially in light of Jenn's animal aversion, as well as my childhood love of them. For the past 2 years, we have had feral cats give birth to litters of kittens in our area. Last year, we actually found two litters in our yard; one underneath the deck in the backyard, and another hiding in corner of the front yard behind an overgrown rose bush. In both cases, I eventually "persuaded" the cats to move elsewhere. In the first case, it involved a lot of use of cardboard slats that i stuck through the gaps in the deck to scare the kittens out from underneath, and then chasing them until I could catch them. It was actually quite fun. Once I caught them, I debated whether to turn them over to the local ASPCA, but due to the perennial overload of strays there and what they do with them, I elected to instead let them go and they eventually did not return.

In the second case, it was much more dramatic (at least in my mind). I was trimming this overgrown rose bush (which had grown up against our fence), when the mother cat burst out from underneath it and took off like a shot. Once I recovered from that scare, I heard little mewlings and found 4 kittens even younger than the previous ones huddled there. That must have been why the mother cat didn't bolt until I was nearly on top of them, because they were so young. These kittens must have been no more than 4 weeks old, they couldn't even stand properly. So my initial impulse was to get these kittens out from there. I put them in a large cardboard box (that's what they do with kittens on TV) and went to research what to do on the Internet. That's when I found out that 4 week old kittens couldn't survive on their own and actually needed the mother's body heat to stay warm. So I wrapped them in a blanket and tried to figure out my dilemma: since I had scared the mother away, how could I get her to come back? All the while, I kept going outside to check on the kittens, because their mewling was so plaintive and sad. I finally decided to return them to their original nest in hopes that the mother would come back. At the same time, I couldn't just rely on that, so I would go out there and periodically look. The 3rd time I did, the mother cat had cautiously edged to the other part of our yard, opposite the nest, and I had walked right in between them. (Yes, I know, nice move). She made to start bolting away again, but I cried out, "Wait!", and I ran over to the nest to grab one of the kittens. I slowly walked back to my original spot, saw that mama cat had not moved and was looking at me to see what I would do, and I held out the kitten to her. that definitely made her freeze and fixate on her baby. I slowly moved closer, holding out the kitten. And interestingly, the kitten, which btw is still blind at that stage, somehow noticed mom was nearby and started mewling loudly and squirming. i got as close as i could and then noticed that mom was still leaning towards leaving. i put the kitten down on the ground and backed away from it. mom cat was still staring at me, not trusting what i just did. i actually backed away to the point where i crossed our street to the other side and to where i lost sight of her (and she of me). i then walked back slowly and softly to see Mama cat pad over to her kitten, lick her, and then pick her up and trot off. Of course, I was so happy at that point that I forgot there were 3 other kittens waiting there in the original nest. The good thing was that the next morning, they were all gone. I figure mom came back for the rest of them in the middle of the night.

Recently, we found a new set of kittens that have come back. They don't appear to be using our house as their nest. Since we got someone regularly clearing the yard, there isn't as much shelter for them. This time, I scared them out from under the deck one day, and they haven't been back since. Maybe they're finally getting the message.

Posted by spoof747 at 07:01 PM | Comments (0)

October 20, 2005

you can't make this stuff up

Excerpts from e-mails among Federal Emergency Management officials during Hurricane Katrina (more explanations below):

_Bahamonde to FEMA Director Michael Brown, Aug. 31, 11:20 a.m.

"Sir, I know that you know the situation is past critical. Here some things you might not know.

Hotels are kicking people out, thousands gathering in the streets with no food or water. Hundreds still being rescued from homes.

The dying patients at the DMAT tent being medivac. Estimates are many will die within hours. Evacuation in process. Plans developing for dome evacuation but hotel situation adding to problem. We are out of food and running out of water at the dome, plans in works to address the critical need.

_Sharon Worthy, Brown's press secretary, to Cindy Taylor, FEMA deputy director of public affairs, and others, Aug. 31, 2 p.m.

"Also, it is very important that time is allowed for Mr. Brown to eat dinner. Gievn (sic) that Baton Rouge is back to normal, restaurants are getting busy. He needs much more that (sic) 20 or 30 minutes. We now have traffic to encounter to get to and from a location of his choise (sic), followed by wait service from the restaurant staff, eating, etc.

_Bahamonde to Taylor and Michael Widomski, public affairs, Aug. 31, 2:44 p.m.

"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! No won't go any further, too easy of a target. Just tell her that I just ate an MRE and crapped in the hallway of the Superdome along with 30,000 other close friends so I understand her concern about busy restaurants. Maybe tonight I will have time to move my pebbles on the parking garage floor so they don't stab me in the back while I try to sleep.

Bahamonde is referring to Marty Bahamonde, FEMA regional director who was sent by Brown to New Orleans immediately prior to Hurricane Katrina's arrival. He is currently testifying before the Senate Homeland Security Committee. Mr. Brown is of course, the honorable Michael Brown who has become the symbol (some would say scapegoat) for the federal government's botching of Katrina emergency response. Judging from this excerpt, it would seem like he deserves more blame than he thinks he does.

FEMA Official Says Boss Ignored Warnings (via SFGate)

Posted by spoof747 at 04:36 PM | Comments (0)

honesty

One of my favorite reads these days is Salon.com's War Room feed. Partially because Salon represents a decidedly liberal, yet very reasoned viewpoint. The other reason is that right now, Plamegate is in full swing. The basic premise here (for those who have been under a rock for the past 2 years) is that somebody leaked the name of a CIA agent under cover, Victoria Plame, to the press, and she was "outed" as such. If done knowingly, this is considered a serious crime. The prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald, has been looking for evidence for the past few years and seems to be finally close to wrapping up his investigation. Along the way, he's actually put a reporter in jail for not giving up her source (Judith Miller) and asked what seems like the entire Bush White House to testify before a grand jury.

Partisan preferences aside, I think the thing that amazes me about this and other political cases is the amount of dishonesty and manipulation that is involved. And from my perrspective as a new parent, the most basic questions I have is: when did these people/politicians decide to operate this way in their life? Did their parents teach them this? I was taught by my parents that honesty is the best policy, yadda yadda, and I'm sure that the vast majority of all children are brought up in the same way or at least with similar value systems (Maybe I'm sheltered, but I find it hard to believe that any parent would teach their kid to lie, cheat, and steal) Every parent wants to make sure their child has a better life than theirs, and I definitely do as well. You look at books, television, and other pop culture families and you see that they are trying to inculcate the same morals too. Yet for some reason, the same world that wants you to teach your children these values doesn't seem to give a rat's ass about them once you are an adult. People get taught honesty, respect, and honor. In the adult world of the rat race, of trying to get ahead, it becomes politics, manipulation, persuasion, which would seem to be diametric opposites to what one is taught as a child.

At which point does this happen? Then again, kids do get mixed messages. For example, the concept of the "tattletale". So as a kid if you are taught not to lie and to be honest, you strive for that. Yet I remember distinctly in school, that when a kid went to a teacher to say that another kid was goofing or doing something bad, on more than one occasion, the teacher's first response was "Don't be a tattletale". How does that reconcile with the concept of honesty? Does that mean be honest, but not necessarily all the time? Or does it mean solidarity above honesty? Then again, it has been clear to me for a long time now that I'm not going to be relying on the public school system to teach values to my children.

Yes, I admit I have a certain level of blindness about this. You can probably guess that honesty was something my dad beat into my head ever since I was little. My memory tells me that one of my dad's favorite phrases was, "You lied to me, so how can I trust you?" Maybe other people did not grow up with such an emphasis on it as a value. But I like to think that these teachings have somewhat stayed with me, enough so that the disconnect between them and the demands of adult life seem very apparent. If you need to make a sale, you have to exaggerate a little. If you run for political office, you have to make promises that you know you probably can't keep. If you missed a deadline, you have to come up with a good reason, whether or not you have one. And you watch people who seem to do this without a second thought. That's also why politicians fascinate me with their double-talk and their unwillingness to ever back down or make an apology. What do they go home and teach their kids? Does Tom DeLay come home from work and teach his children that by any means necessary is ok? Does Howard Dean?

Posted by spoof747 at 11:38 AM | Comments (0)

October 16, 2005

old age

i was looking forward to this past weekend. for once, in between releases, there didn't seem to be too much work to be done (or at least, I felt ok about ignoring it). We helped to celebrate Viv and Eric's anniversary on Saturday by sharing their wedding cake. No, not a 1 year old cake from a freezer, but a fresh one from the same baker. Delicious, as a matter of fact too delicious. The fudge was too rich for Jenn so I had to scoop it off. Also got to see Derek and Mia and little Kian again. He's 1 month and 4 days older than Naomi but a bit bigger. The cute boy is 80th percentile in weight and 30th percentile in height. And appropriately, he giggles, kind of like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

That went all well and good and then we made what we thought was the responsible adult decision and headed home to do some cleaning. We're getting a new garage door installed next week, and were told that we need to redistribute our garage crap in such a way as to allow room for the installation. No problem. All we had to do was move 2 refrigerators, a washing machine, an antique sewing machine, and various sundries collected in and around that area. I actually got it done in a minimum of time -- took about 2 hours and we actually cleaned a bit by throwing away some of the stuff from that area. Jenn helped as well, but also had to keep an eye on the little princess. Some of the stuff was a bit heavy, but hey, no problem, right?

So after I get back from church this morning, I get back, plop down in front of the tv and realize something is wrong. My lower back is stiff. I tried to stretch and flex, and my back is telling me that its probably not a good idea right now. Ugh. Picking up Naomi is not too bad. The problem is actually bending down to get her. Hoo boy. I've had back strain before, but I don't think its ever been this noticeable. Its also more apparent because of the little girl, since before her, I could probably get away with going to bed and lying down and just resting. I couldn't exactly do that today because Jenn was trying to clean, and make some extra favor bags (from the red egg party). And Naomi periodically decides that its time that she needs to be carried. Ouch. We go out to dinner with my parents, and I mention the state of my back to my dad. He says, "Hey, I've got a back brace, it will make you feel better much faster." No thanks, I'm not wearing a man corset. I figure a good night's sleep is all I need. Apparently, at my age, I need more than just one. Its sad to realize that one's ability to recover has slowed down. I used to be able to push the limits, strain my body either through exercise or manual labor, and sleep it off and be fine the next day. The funny thing is I am becoming more ok with this state.

There was a time, not too long ago, where I'd push myself to stay up late or to do things that I consider to be something that younger people do. Why? To prove to myself that I still could, that I was still young. But, hey, I don't have anything to prove. And all it ends up doing is making me readjust my life and delay the real life things that need to get done. I'm a father now, and even though she isn't watching my conduct yet, she will be soon, and I have to start acting like a father. I still want to be a cool dad, at least. I just have to figure out how to do that as soon as my back stops complaining.

Posted by spoof747 at 10:29 PM | Comments (0)

October 10, 2005

bummed out bears

Ok, I promised myself that I wouldn't talk about the Cal-UCLA football game, but I just have to vent out a bit (blog justification reason #47)

We went over to Jake and Amanda's for their little housewarming and watched the game. We actually got a late start because of Naomi's red egg party and our need to recover a little bit from that, so I was keeping an eye on the first quarter from home. In Cal's either first or second play from scrimmage, Justin Forsett breaks off a 57 yard run. Quick touchdown after that. UCLA fumbles the kickoff, Cal recovers and on the next play, another touchdown. 14-0. You figure, no problem right? UCLA comes back to tie it at 14. Cal then goes up by 13, 27-14 and the first half ends with that score. UCLA then comes back and takes the lead for the first time, making it 28-27. Cal then roars back and takes a 40-28 lead towards the start of the 4th quarter. Unfortunately, this is one of those games where there was just too much time on the clock at that point, and Cal doesn't score again, but UCLA makes its 3rd comeback of the game, with the final score being 47-40.

Scary thing is that if you look at the stats, Cal should have just killed UCLA. They outrushed them, with the two headed monster of Marshawn Lynch and Justin Forsett. Joseph Ayoob actually showed more touch on his passes than I've seen all year so far. He threw some catchable long bombs (got a TD pass to Desean Jackson on one), and actually had some medium range passes over the middle which were on target (his biggest liability to date). They held Maurice Jones-Drew to 65 yards rushing and Marcedes Lewis, the star UCLA tight end, to 1 catch, I think.

So what the &$*#@& happened?

- Special Teams - this was the absolute worst. On the first punt that Maurice Drew got, he nearly took it to the house (I think he went 70 yards). You'd figure, after that, you kick *AWAY* from him. Either out of bounds, or short so that it rolls to him. Or you kick high so that by the time he catches it, there are 4 defenders around him waiting to take him down. But noooo, the guy goes on to rack up *5* TDs! If the guy is going nuts like that, pooch the damn ball! He was the only one scoring for UCLA it seemed. I don't know if the special teams coach took a stupid pill before the game or if David Lonie, the kicker, has no idea where to aim. Especially since this was a home game for UCLA, and special teams plays are big momentum shifters. You are an offense that just scored, or your defense is playing well, and you see your special teams give up a kickoff to the house. Terrible.

- Tight Ends. Actually one specifically, Beegum. Tedford has got to bench this guy or something. They've got Stevens, who caught one TD. They've got David Gray (where did he disappear to this game?). They've got a promising freshman, Cameron Morrah (not sure if he's redshirting this season). But just in my casual fan observation of the game: Beegum gets a touchdown called back because he false started, and on a play in which he wasn't even the primary receiver. He also misses a sure touchdown catch earlier than that. Tedford's offense makes very good use of the tight end in the red zone, and arguably, this is part of the reason the Cal offense settled for 4 FGs when in the red zone. All of them should have been TDs.

- Run the ball. Ok, Forsett goes for 153 yards (and on like 10 carries!). Lynch, who seems at least somewhat hindered by the cast on his hand, still goes for 135. That is nearly 300 yards between the two of them. Yet, on the most pivotal play of the game, 3rd and 3, with the Bears up 40-35, and desperately trying to keep the ball away from UCLA, a pass over the middle is called, and Ayoob throws it to a well-covered receiver. Ironically, a tight end (see point above). Yes, UCLA was bringing its linebackers up at that point, stacking 8 in the box. But Cal had run against that already quite a few times, and had either gashed for big gains or at least gotten those 3 *measly* yards! There was a stat before the game where the Cal OL outweighted the UCLA D-line by a major amount. If you have a pivotal play (and you know it is), you need to go with your strength, nevermind if the other team knows you're doing it. You have to come with your best, not with a pass from a QB who has been shaky until now to tight ends, who have also been shaky. That I think was more frustrating because the RBs had been dealing all day, and there wouldn't have been any shame in running it on that play and getting stopped. If it had been working all day, you can't blame the team for trying to do it on that play. Was Tedford trying to get too cute there? Possibly. You can justify by the claim that the linebackers where stacking the line on that drive, but Forsett and Lynch were still running well. Also, you have Ayoob, who has really good running instincts. And ultimately, its not like the TE wasn't covered. It was actually good coverage by the free safety, who is going to also play close to the line in such a short-yardage situation.

- Ayoob. Ok, yes he had that crushing interception trying to drive Cal to a score with 1:35 left to play and UCLA up, 41-40. But as I was telling everyone after the game, he had a pretty good game up until that point. 2 TDs passing, one on an underthrown long ball that Desean Jackson came back to get, and another on a crossing pattern by TE John Stevens. As I said before, this was the first game in which I saw some really good touch from him. Sure, he short-hopped a few throws, and he still wasn't quite on the same page as his WRs (there was actually one play where it seemed like he was *arguing* with DJ -- him waving for DJ to go long, Desean staying short, and Ayoob ending up throwing it towards the inside shoulder where the UCLA defender nearly picked it off). But if you compare to his horrific first game at Sac State (0 for 10), he's come a long way. Cal fans have to face the fact that this guy, which has some potential, also has some gotchas which will probably take until after the season for Tedford's coaching to rectify. He has a long windup in his passing motion (allowing for that interception, because the outside cornerback cut in to get it). He also has to learn to look off the DBs. He did work on one of his major problems so far (accuracy), and this week was much better. Understandably, he hasn't yet figured out the magic combination between when to run and when to pass. Sometimes he'd tuck the ball and run when there were open WRs, other times he'd hold the ball too long when he could have run. But that's a minor gotcha in my mind, as very few "running" QBs are able to master that skill. The only one that really had that to some extent is Michael Vick, and only because he's so elusive, he would slough off would be tacklers and get the ball out of there. Even Steve Young didn't really reach that understanding until a few years in the 49ers offense. Up until then, he'd be doing the same thing, running when he should have passed, passing when he should have run.

Ultimately, this was so frustrating because Cal should have won, and it was apparent even to UCLA. They celebrated like crazy once they had it wrapped up and the fans partied late into the night. You don't do that unless you know what a big victory it is. Also, it frustates Cal's hunt for a top bowl, as the schedule was tailor-made to build up to a frenzy, for Cal's game against USC in 3 weeks. One can make a case where this has lowered Cal's expectations to a reasonable level, but at the same time, you wonder if this should have been "the year". With a new QB and a new defense, its fair to say that the chances were against that. But I just hope that Tedford can keep Marshawn from going pro for one more year, so we can have him for next season.

Posted by spoof747 at 10:15 AM | Comments (0)

October 07, 2005

political perspective

as a Christian who finds himself on the wrong side of a lot of politics these days, this article on Salon.com seems to capture a lot of how I feel:

Rescuing Jesus

Bush & Co. have hijacked Jesus, using him as the poster child for their callous worldview. It's time to rescue Christ from his kidnappers.

By Alessandro Camon

Oct. 07, 2005 | Harriet Miers, should she be confirmed to the Supreme Court, will be the resident evangelical Christian. She shares her religious background with George W. Bush, whose claim to have chosen her based on "knowing her heart" has as much to do with the born-again faith he shares with her as with her long service in his inner circle. This choice might have left secular conservatives perplexed or downright dissatisfied, but is an obvious crowd-pleaser with the Christian right. Above all, it reflects the importance of Christianity for Bush, widely described as the most devout president in history.

But as we brace for more battles over abortion rights, gay marriage, stem cell research and so forth, it's time for ask just how Christian the supposedly pious Bush administration really is. Because what happened in New Orleans, and what has been happening in Iraq, raises serious questions about whether Bush & Co. deserve to be called Christian at all.

go here for the rest of this article (need to sit through some commercials first)

Posted by spoof747 at 09:07 PM | Comments (0)

October 05, 2005

getting back to real life

So at work, we released to production last Thursday night. What has changed since then?

Schedule-wise, a little. While I've been still getting out of the office late -- at least its been at 7 or 8pm since Monday (and even a few of those were due to non-work-related reasons). I'm also using the morning time to take care of things I wasn't able to get to during release-time.

Psychologically, its a big load off my back (and the entire workplace) Actually, its more the other way around -- because everyone in the workplace, the client, our consulting bosses, all feel better now that this is in production and nothing big has blown up (yet), the whole atmosphere is a lot more relaxed. I'm trying to take advantage of that while it lasts. And not in a kick my feet up veg out way. I need to be better and get all those things done that have been languishing since, well, really since Naomi was born.

There's still two rooms in the house, not including the garage, that are chock full of things that need to be cleaned and/or thrown away. The guest room in the back of the house became a dumping ground for all of the stuff that got moved out of the baby room, which used to be the library. Following me so far? :) I bought a bunch of additional bookshelves because the current set was getting maxed out, and they are still sitting in their boxes. Also got a bunch of old computers that at this point, I will not be rebuilding or repurposing, so those are going to need to go too. The home office is split between my junk and Jenn's junk, and we have to figure out the best way to organize that junk.

And then there is the garage.

While I managed to do a fair amount of work in the garage before baby got here, such as painting two of the walls and putting in shelving and cabinetry, there is WAY too much stuff in our garage. Unused refrigerators? We got 2 of 'em. Mattress? Yep. Desk bought but never built so still unopened in its box? Check. Antique sewing machine? Courtesy of my grandmother who has passed on, its here. The irony about that one, is I don't actually mind keeping it, but apparently, my grandmother's eldest daughter (otherwise known as my mom) put it up for claim to the rest of her siblings and they "fought" for it. My aunt, the victor, was supposed to pick it up. That was roughly 6 months ago. Ah well. We actually have a hard deadline to clear up some space because we're getting a new garage door put in and they're going to need some space to actually install the necessary equipment.

Am I going to get this all done in this little downtime cycle that's happening right now? Not likely. Not on top of what, for some reason, is an October that's booked every weekend. Part of it is us, finally holding our red egg party (3.5 months late), but there seems to be a whole bunch of good-bye parties, baby showers, birthdays, housewarmings, and just general gatherings that go through November. Funny how it always seems that way. All I can do is give it my best shot and not succumb to the usual temptations of vegging out on the new fall TV season or sitting in front of the computer, playing FPS or RTS games. Since I can't wait until the already booked weekend to do stuff, I'm going to have to use those gaps of time I can find right now, the ones I normally think, "I can goof off and catch up with home stuff over the weekend"

Wish me luck.

Posted by spoof747 at 10:13 PM | Comments (0)

October 03, 2005

Daddy's list of tricks to make Naomi smile

ChaChaCha: Allow her to grasp your fingers with both of her hands, and pull one forward, then another, and then switch back and forth in a "cha-cha-cha" rhythm.
This was one of the first things that I found could make her smile, and it still works occasionally.

Karate Chop: Similar to ChaChaCha, let her grab your hands, but put your face close to her, and have her (lightly) hit your face in a left-right-left repeating combination. Not sure what that means for her future tendencies towards violence.

Swing Low Sweet Chariot: Cradling her in the crook of one arm, swing in a low arc, but at the apex, bringing her to nearly an upright position. Singing the words to "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" is optional.
Also found this early on, when she was only a few weeks old. As a matter of fact, even when she wasn't smiling, she would anticipate this by tilting her head back when the arc reached the top. I could tell because after I stopped doing it, she would still try tilting her head back based on the timing of how often I was doing it before. She doesn't really like this anymore, nor is she small enough where this is easy to do.

Bouncy Bouncy: Works best on our bed, because it is a large flat bouncy surface. Also helps that Stearns and Foster has not lived up to its claims, and there are large soft spots on the mattress. While at some point I will follow up on that warranty, it works well for this. Place Naomi face up on the bed, and put your hands palms down behind her onto the bed. Then create the bouncing motion by pushing down and releasing. By having your hands directly underneath her, you can control the motion a little bit and make sure that its safer. Of course, she laughs harder if the bounce is stronger and she gets a little higher.

Pulling my leg: An early favorite that I found is grasping her feet while she is lying on her back and pulling them up and down in a rapid motion. She opens her eyes wide and her mouth pulls into an open smile. She extends out her arms and lets them bob to the same motion.

Bathroom sink sitting: This is a strange one. She was really crying one time when we were at Viv and Eric's place, and I took her into the room farthest from everyone else because I didn't want to disturb them. Being that it was a bathroom and I was looking to give my arms a break, I sat her down quickly on the lip of the bathroom sink. She immediately stopped crying and looked very curious. Now its a tried and true trick with her. She loves mirrors to begin with, maybe it also has to do with the cool smooth surface for her feet. She then looks over all the items next to the sink and seems to look intrigued as to how there is two of every item.

Who's that Girl?: Basically holding her in front of a mirror and once she focuses on her reflection, asking her "Who's that?" Always seems to bring a smile to her face. My daughter is so vain.

Magic Blanket trick: Really a variation of Peek-a-Boo, this involves taking her blanket and holding it upright over her prone form in a way that it barely brushes her face, and then sweeping it back and forth. She seems to love the feel of the fabric, as well as the little breeze that is created when I swish the blanket back and forth.

Supergirl: Holding her in the classic Superman flying position and running all over the house. Strangely, this is hit-and-miss. :)

Posted by spoof747 at 11:42 PM | Comments (0)

October 02, 2005

musings on missing my daughter

So 2 weeks ago, for the first time, I missed a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Yet I'm somewhat glad that I didn't end up going. Not because work yet again screwed up my true priorities, but because this was the second time that Naomi was going in for her immunization shots.

And the first time was, for those few minutes, heart-rending. Actually she had 1 shot the first time, when she was less than a month old. She took that shot, let out one cry, and then stopped. We were surprised, and figured, "Cool, we have ourselves a tough girl." Only to find out later that due to the immature nervous systems of infants at that age, their pain receptors aren't really sending it out full-force, so they can shrug it off.

Not so with the 2 month appointment. That was the first time she had to get 4 shots. Jenn and I brought Naomi over to the table where they do this, and she was being her normal pleasant self. The nurse instructed us to hold her down. The first shot came and Naomi screamed which resolved itself into a cry. Then came the others, in a squick a succcesion as the nurse could make it. But each time, in increasing volume, she let out a cry/scream, and was looking straight into our faces as if to say, "Why are you doing this to me?" And she started making attempts to get out of our grasp, to avoid whatever was causing her pain. Both Jenn and I were nearly in tears at the end of it, which is why I'm somewhat glad that I wasn't able to go this time. Although Jenn did say that Naomi was a trooper and didn't really even cry this time.

There's something about *your* baby crying that makes all the difference in the world. I remember early on, when we were at a gathering where there were a few babies, and I heard a cry and became alert, only to find out it wasn't our baby. Flash forward to 2 weekends ago at Sueanna's birthday. 4 babies present. I could pick out everytime I heard Naomi cry, everytime she started talking to someone. It made me realize how attuned to her I am now.

Unfortunately I can't say the same for her. Due to the nature of work lately, I have spent nearly a month coming home after she has fallen asleep, while Jenn has spent every day with her. Not surprisingly, she can recognize her mother. She will smile when she hears her voice, she will get excited when she sees her walk by. While I like to think that she at least recognizes me more than say, her grandparents or some of our other friends who see her frequently, I still have to work to get her to notice me. And when she's upset, mom is the only person who can calm her down. There's been quite a few cases now where I've tried every thing I know to do when she is crying and all its done is make her cry louder and louder. Then if I had her over to Jenn, it stops. Immediately. I don't want to be *that* kind of father. I don't want to be only that guy who comes home late because he pays the bills. The books seem to say that babies go through stages where they favor one parent and then another. While I don't begrudge Jenn our daughter's affection (or rather, dependence), I'm looking forward to the time when she'll feel that way towards me too.

A lot of people ask if I want her to be "Daddy's little girl". I'm not sure what that means. Does that mean she has to be a tomboy? Does she have to like sports? I think I'll just be happy when I hear a little girl barreling down the hallway when I open the door after a day of work, shouting "Daddy" and wrapping my legs into a hug. Until then, I live for the moments when I can make her smile, or laugh, or chatter with me good-naturedly. That's what tells me that she's happy, and there's very little that is more important to me in the entire world at this time.

Posted by spoof747 at 01:59 PM | Comments (1)

October 01, 2005

baseball

Thursday:
Courtesy of Dave (we have so many caring friends), we had 4 Club Level tickets to SBC Park to watch the San Francisco Giants play the Chicago Cubs.

This one I figured was a better bet to take Naomi to than the football game. First, the club level is secluded from the rest of the park. They have their own concessions, and a fully enclosed area behind the seats, so if Naomi got upset, I could take her in there and walk her around and not distract other people.
Jun and Olivia also joined us for the game, so that's two other people who love to play with our daughter and would be perfectly willing to carry her if we got tired.

So I sprint to SBC Park from work (the first day in months that I've left before the sun went down) and meet up with Jun, since he works in the city, and we're waiting there for the wives, who are stuck in traffic. We kill time by heading into the souvenir store, where Jun buys a jersey. When the girls finally got in (damn traffic), we headed up to the seats. Unfortunately, the Cubs were already up by 2 runs at that point. We settle into our seats out by Right Field and I'm reminding myself to try and enjoy the game and be calm. Just then the Giant who is at bat hits a single through the left side and advances a runner on first base. I let out a whoop.

With Naomi firmly in my arms.

At least this time, I realized right away what I had done, where as Naomi had somewhat of a delayed reaction. We literally watched as her face slowly scrunched up and she started to cry. Jenn gave me a dirty look and then shrugged her shoulders in resignation. Its funny, I don't remember not being able to control my game cheering since I was a kid. Its partially when you're at the park and everyone else around you is doing the same that you feel like you have to as well. Not that I'm making excuses. Two games in the same week, the first thing I do at both is cheer into my daughter's ear and make her cry. Some father.

But at least this time, since I didn't yell as loudly, nor is a baseball game as loud as a football game, generally, Naomi was in better spirits. She is actually still ok in my lap just a few innings later, when we look to our right and see a cameraman. Apparently, they like to take pictures of cute babies (how they found us, we still don't know). While most parents would try to be cute and grab their baby's hand and make them wave or something, I just held her under the shoulders and thrust her out at the camera, as if I was asking the camera guy to take her or something. And lo and behold, Naomi's face fills the Jumbotron/Diamondvision/whatever they call that big screen out in Center field.

this is the picture we wish we had taken of it.

Unfortunately, we were both so star-struck that when we finally realized we should take a picture of Naomi on the big screen, they had already stopped filming. Which was ok too because Naomi had just about had enough and started scrunching up for another cry. For all to see.

The rest of the game passed uneventfully, with the unfortunate outcome of the Giants losing. I did finally make it out to the pitching cage behind the bleachers. Since the Giants moved out to SBC Park, they have had a pitching cage with a radar gun out there, and I've always been dying to see what I can clock. Right after I graduated from college, my girlfriend took me to the Exploratorium when they were having a Sport Science and Physics exhibition and they had a pitching cage there. The numbers they showed back then, I was hitting 90-94 on the gun. Even everyone lined up was "ooh-ing" and "aah-ing". No, I'm not dreaming this. Of course, when I got back from that, none of my friends believed me (girlfriends who don't know sports aren't much help) so I've always wanted a second shot to see what kind of big-league cannon I've got hanging off my shoulder.

So taking a walk out there, there was actually no line for the pitching for once. So I pull out my 4 bucks and eagerly await my turn. I notice on the whiteboard that some kids have hit 80 on the gun. I'm watching the people ahead of me. This one guy who looks to be in his early 20s is throwing the crap out of the ball, and hitting 75. Then come a parade of kids who are throwing and hitting 50, 55.
Apparently, this year, they've added a fake batter and catcher at the end of the pitching cage, and if you even nick the catcher's glove, you hear the Ump call "Steeerike!"

And now its my turn. I pay my fee, turn to the worker handing out the baseballs, and take the balls from him. I turn back towards the batter and get into my stance. I go into my windup, kick my leg out and fire the ball at the catcher. My eyes go to the Juggs radar gun display on the top right of the cage.

56.

Damn, that can't be right. That's miles per hour. That's slower than Kirk Rueter's slowest pitch. That's probably the same speed as an eephus pitch. I go into my windup and fire another one at the catcher again.

57.

At this point, I'm not even looking at the gathered crowd. I don't want to see any looks of pity or stifled laughter. Apparently, I rank up there with the best 13 year olds, at least according to the whiteboard. I'm debating whether to throw my last pitch submarine-style or maybe a higher leg kick will give me more momentum to the plate. To heck with it, I don't even bother aiming at the catcher anymore and I throw with all my strength into the cage. The ball bounces to the left of the catcher and ricochets behind him.

59.

Defeated, I walk off and slink back to our seats. Man, that was a reality check. That gun I threw at years ago was either calibrated to be nice to guests or was measuring in km/hour. I told Jun as I got back, he chuckled as if to say, "Well, what did you think?" It definitely gives me major respect for those flamethrowers on the mound who hit 100 mph. Randy Johnson, Kyle Farnsworth, Jason Schmidt (well not this year), my hat is off to you. And my hands will be in my pockets every time I pass by a pitching cage from now on.

Posted by spoof747 at 02:46 AM | Comments (0)